Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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