i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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