he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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