I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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