sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Randomize
