she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
