I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
