woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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