Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
