I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
