I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
