i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I fill condoms, not promises.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
