I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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