I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
