This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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