Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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