I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
