even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
then he tried to convert me to islam
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
