Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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