is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
