is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
