its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
