remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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