GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
