Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
