Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
