Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
