So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
