mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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