i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize