Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
