I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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