BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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