I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
