blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
