Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
