I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
