I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Someone shattered a urinal.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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