I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
