he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
