Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
