Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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