I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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