Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
