wakey wakey hands off snakey
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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