one two three fourrrrnication!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found the puke drawer
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
