What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
