New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
