she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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