I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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