just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
