I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
