Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
