I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
