yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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