thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the condom got lost in my hair
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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