I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
