im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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