so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
