Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's never too late to be topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
