I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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