they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
