he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
