if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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