I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
White coat. Heels.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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