I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
